April 2010
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The Pressures of Tumbling
Whenever I see that a really ridiculously good-looking person has started following me on Tumblr, I always start getting paranoid, worried that they will soon discover my secrets.
Those secrets being that I am neither particularly good-looking nor terribly interesting.
I mean, that’s what people do on Tumblr, right? Follow people they want to mate with? Right? Did… did I hear that...
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goldenfiddle:
Damon Albarn on Simon Cowell. (via ontd)
The mind of Damon Albarn is one of the most appreciable of God’s gifts to humanity.
Also, stop mumbling, Damon. I know you’re a British musician, but come on.
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Answers to your FormSpring questions! Exciting!
who the hell are you?
I don’t know. I have a penis, so I’m probably male. I have a lush beard, so I may be Zach Galifianakis. I don’t remember starring in The Hangover, though, so I’m probably not him. Penis, beard… That’s all I’ve got. You can work out the rest from there, I’m sure. Let me know if you find out anything.
Would you ever date outside of your race?
Oh, hells yeah. I’d kind...
Oops.
Okay, so, apparently, FormSpring decided to stop sending me notifications of new questions several months ago. So, I’m going to make good and reply to the (thankfully, not too plentiful) questions that probably no one cares about anymore. And, uh, sorry.
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Today's "Case of the Mondays" rant:
Reese’s Pieces.
I was reminded of their existence today. And being reminded of their existence, I was subsequently reminded of the existence of the general public’s tendency to pronounce it “Reesee’s Peesees.” Let me say this in no uncertain terms:
If you pronounce it that way, you are a flaming, thundering idiot.
First of all, let’s get the obvious rebuttal...
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Do you know what's a worse torture than not having...
Feeling pretty damned awesome and having all the time in the world, and yet feeling absolutely zero inspiration or desire to write anything or be even remotely productive.
I want to do something right now. Preferably writing. Yet, I cannot get behind any one idea enough to actually do it. Like, it’s killing me. All week long, I get ideas for things to write about or projects to do, yet...
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Say it ain't so, Steve Perry!
SARAH SILVERMAN: I had a boyfriend who called it mouth-full-of-blood laughs. It’s when people are laughing at the wrong thing. One time the lead singer of a very popular band from the 1980s—I can’t give you his name—came up to me after a show, and I swear to God, he goes, “You’re my favorite comedian. You have the best n---er jokes.” I was like, “I...I...didn’t mean...” And he turns to his friends and says, “She’s got the best n---er jokes!”
PLAYBOY: Would you give us a hint who it was?
SARAH SILVERMAN: I’ll say just this: After that, I stopped believin’.
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No hugging, no learning.
– Larry David’s mantra for producing Seinfeld (via realrealsoft)
Also, what is turning out to be my life’s mantra.
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LOST: It's the power of OH GOD, IT HURTS
There are few people who love LOST as much as I do and yet still retain their sanity. It’s fantastic, engaging, escapist sci-fi/fantasy with some wonderful characters and actors. But not even I can excuse some of the sloppy, hurried nonsense that Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse have been feverishly stuffing into season six.
Most of the season’s low points have been excusable things...
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In which I embody any Linkin Park song...
First of all, I’m going to write a lot. Probably. I don’t know. I haven’t done it yet. And it’s going to be about emotional, psychological nonsense that I’m dealing with these days. If you don’t give a shit, feel free to skip it. In fact, please skip it. Otherwise, thanks in advance for reading.
I’ve had a weird life. I won’t go into great detail,...
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Is there a way for me to say, "I have given up on...
I haven’t quite learned to speak “adult” fluently, yet.
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Adventures in Internet Comments:
According to the comments on Hulu for this past week’s FlashForward episode, there is a “scheming lesbian spy” stereotype that the show is, apparently, helping to perpetuate.
This is awful. Just… just terrible.
I am really behind in my stereotypes. I’ve never even heard of this one.