December 2011
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November 2011
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Wednesday
It’s bullshit that I have neither the talent nor the equipment to record a slow-as-molasses shoegaze cover of the Beatles’ “Revolution.”
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Oh, man, soup is already proving to be divisive.
I bring up the important issues. I am a controversial figure.
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Things Everyone Enjoys but I Do Not Understand the...
Spider-Man
Simon Pegg
Most of the things Japan does
Soup
Sorry.
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Nick Cage Head →
dottiff:
Nick Cage Nick Cage Nick Cage Nick Cage Nick Cage Nick Cage Nick Cage Nick Cage Nick Cage Nick Cage Nick Cage Nick Cage Nick Cage Nick Cage Nick Cage Nick Cage Nick Cage Nick Cage Nick Cage Nick Cage
via Jonathan Visconti
Nothing will ever be more beautiful than this.
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I met a person from the Internet today.
They didn’t kill me.
I didn’t kill them.
My awkwardness was only at 66%.
It usually hovers around 100% in these situations.
We walked. A lot. Too much. I want to die.
She has a dog and two cats.
Sneakers The Cat likes me.
Apparently, I am a cat person, now.
That’s all.
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It'd be real swell if my unconscious mind would...
Real swell.
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"I'd rather observe the law."
File that under “Something I said unironically 30 minutes ago.”
Now, I’m going to have to do a dozen Hail Ice-Ts and sing “Cop Killer” at least twice.
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CONGRATS ON PLANNING TO PULL THE FUNNIEST SHOW ON... →
You’re dumb and your face is dumb.
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Monday
I took a long walk.
I browsed the library.
I came home and made pancakes.
Is this what unemployed people are supposed to do? Is this being productive? Because, this is all I really know how to do. If I have to do more than this, I think I’m in trouble.
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Watching the Republican debate...
Rick Perry’s presence is proving to be quite a strenuous workout in trying to make myself root for any Republican who is not Rick Perry.
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Did everyone understand that Paterno post?
I’m not sure if I was clear enough.
Dude was dumb and, possibly, a huge asshole, and the people who failed to make sure that the pedophilia was brought to light and stopped definitely deserve to be fired, at the very least.
I’m just saying, no matter how much good you do, you can really fuck your shit up with one well-placed bad decision. Y’all gotta be on your damn toes, like,...
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yzupp liked your post: What really gets me about this Joe Paterno thing
There’s no way you read it that fast.
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What really gets me about this Joe Paterno thing
I don’t really follow sports anymore. I’m not interested in them. Even when I did follow sports, I never cared about college sports. They’re boring to me. But I have retained enough useless information about them to remember the name Joe Paterno well.
Do you realize that this man has coached the Penn State Nittany Lions for roughly 45 years? And, very successfully. That...
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I woke up this morning still wanting to write...
I want to be the kind of rapper who writes lines like:
Fuck Ben Folds Rockford Files was perfect
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Thoughts I am having before going to bed:
What if I wrote hip-hop? I really want to write hip-hop.
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Sometimes, when the Stomach Virus Blues are...
I just remember that I once met, touched, and spoke with Joel Hodgson.
And he was so nice, you guys. So nice.
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UPDATE ABOUT THE STOMACH OF SHARPLESS
It’s doing okay.
My stomach just feels like crap because, you know, I threw up 30-40 times on Saturday night. I guess that’s not good for it. In fact, no, scratch that — most of my body feels like crap, what with the dehydration and all. So: stomach hurts, I’m tired, otherwise fine. Recovering.
So, I still feel a teeny, tiny bit like death, but it’s manageable...
Monday To-Do List
1. Do an interpretive dance to “I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight” in the shower. 2. Don’t get murdered.
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I am eating Canadian water crackers and watching...
What has this virus done to my life?
I scored a dignity hat-trick last night.
(WARNING: Sick, gross TMI ahead.)
From 6PM until, say, several hours ago, I have been vomiting profusely (at least 30 times, several times with blood and bile) and pooping straight liquid. Physically speaking, this is the worst experience I’d have in several years. But, you know what?
I’m still cute.
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synecdoche:
pro-tip: tomorrow, leave your v for vendetta/guy fawkes masks bullshit out of your occupy ________ protests, please and thanks.
#this is not your gunpowder plot #you are trying to be peaceful #also v for vendetta was a shit movie and only film majors celebrate the 5th of november via facebook status
Anyone so much as mentions Guy Fawkes, I sneer at ‘em.
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Just watched Mad Men while reading an interview...
I feel like someone is playing horseshoes with my brain.
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Huh. Interesting.
My post about how scary-unstable I can be when not taking my anti-depressants was not as popular as my posts about Manfred Mantis. I think the sweet spot lies in posts about angry praying mantises. I’ll run it by a few more focus groups to be sure.
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In which I am, once again, terrified by my...
A half-hour ago, I saw a friend post something about the show Farscape. I hate the show. It is dumb and boring and its puppets are stupid and a lot of people like it and how fucking dare they and I wanted to reach into the fucking monitor and I don’t even know what monitors have inside them anymore but I wanted to pull its fucking insides out and strew them around the room and shut down the...
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THERE'S A BABY PRAYING MANTIS IN MY WINDOW.
This is the only time in my life that I will ever freak out about the adorability of an insect. IT IS SO TINY. It got stuck between the glass and the screen somehow, and I spent ten minutes trying to get it to fly out. Apparently, though, it’s all cute and no brains. Whatever, dude. You had your chance. I bet you’re just as cute after you’ve starved to death.
Quit watching me...
