January 2012
2 tags
Year-end observations by a drunk man on the...
You are all beautiful people, even those of you who are dumbasses.
I think I gained twenty pounds today.
2011 was a year of challenges and growth, for me. Mom died, which sucks. (I should probably phrase that differently.) But, I’ve grown up a great deal since then. I feel pretty good about how things have gone, all things considered. I credit God with all of it, and I know 95% of you will...
December 2011
1 tag
The more time I spend playing with cats, the more I begin to understand you people. It’s entertaining to watch them freak out and run around for no apparent reason. It’s adorable to watch their tiny brains try to understand that you’re poking their paws repeatedly solely to fuck with them. It’s fun to spray them with water whenever they go near the Christmas tree.
Yeah, I...
1 tag
weinheritsin replied to your photo: I have no idea how to feel about this. Is it,…
where’d you get this?
I got it while taking a friendly stroll through this site.
3 tags
1 tag
It bothers me when adults talk about “cute boys” or “cute girls.”
Hey, bubs. Why are you checking out boys and girls? You one of them pedos, fella? Shouldn’t you be talking about cute men and women? Use your words.
2 tags
2 tags
1 tag
1 tag
EBENEEZER SCROOGE IS THE 1%
Okay, so, this part?
And to Tiny Tim — who did not die…
Tiny Tim never died? So, he’s still out there, walking the earth? HOLY FUCKING SHIT. Is he still his good-natured, innocent self, or has he been driven mad by his newfound immortality and taken to hunting and killing his fellow man? Has he found a new use for his seemingly useless crutch? How many skulls has he beaten in...
3 tags
2 tags
Hello: uh...hey guys... →
oddlookingbird:
madeleineishere:
I ended up in the Emergency Room yesterday…
I fainted at work (reason unknown) and fell to the floor- hitting my head and neck in an awkward position which knocked me unconscious for a bit~ I was rushed to the ER in an ambulance on a back stretcher (most uncomfortable ride ever) BUT at…
Emergency hospital bills are never fun; I’m sure many of us know this...
3 tags
2 tags
Watch
2 tags
4 tags
5 tags
hiccuptruck replied to your post: I’m not eating a full sleeve of Ritz crackers for the second night in a row.
You know those things are loaded with cholesterol, right?
Not when you eat the reduced-fat versions, motherfucker. BAM.
msloulou replied to your video: Just finished watching White Christmas, and I…
That movie angers me. It has almost nothing whatsoever to do with Christmas....
6 tags
2 tags
I'm not eating a full sleeve of Ritz crackers for...
You are.
2 tags
2 tags
2 tags
“But here’s what “Regional Holiday Music” reminded me: Liking things is vital....”
– AV Club’s recap of Community (via tvhangover)
2 tags
"What does God need with a starship?"
Starships are flipping sweet. Why wouldn’t he want one? I want one.
I have an earache.
What are you even supposed to do for that? I mean, I’m certainly not going to a doctor unless I really have to. I’m just going to shove some Tylenol into my ear hole and hope for the best. What could possibly go wrong? Nothing. That’s what.
4 tags
5 tags
1 tag
WatchGuess who now has access to a webcam.
5 tags
3 tags
Just washed down my anti-anxiety meds with beer.
It’s that kind of night.
2 tags
I just stubbed my toe so hard that it bled.
But I did not scream. I did not yell. I did not swear. I smothered my flaming, sulfurous rage with a metaphorical pillow of self-control. I was completely silent. It felt weird.
I feel like I just performed a magic trick.
2 tags
Okay...
If y’all can blog about your periods, I can blog about the fact that my left ball is killing me, right? As far as I know, it’s some recurring cyst thing that shouldn’t be serious but, shiiiiit, it feels so gross and uncomfortable. That is not an area that is allowed to feel bad. If I were smart, I’d get it checked out, but when you’re unemployed because of reasons and...
1 tag
Get to know me... again
Once again, I like these things. Bite me.
What is your middle name? James. What are you passionate about? I don’t know. Stuff? Don’t ask me at three in the morning. Creativity, maybe? (Okay, yeah, I wrote this out at 3AM, and I’m too lazy to go back and re-answer it now.) Zebra or leopard print? How about neither, MURDERER? J/K, I don’t care. I think animal-print stuff is...
2 tags
You know, I could blog daily about how sick and fucking tired I am of seeing nothing but snark and cynicism from people everyday. People can’t just not like something anymore, they have to tear into it, rip it to shreds, and gloat over its remains. And, you know, I get that for the occasional, truly awful thing, but when you seem to do it to nearly everything? No.
I was just listening to...
3 tags
2 tags
“If you sell your music for a car ad, then you’re selling everybody’s memory of...”
– Thom Yorke (via enarkos)
Can we just talk about how dumb I think this is for a moment? Look, I love Radiohead, and I like Thom Yorke, but bro sprinkled a little too much “I’m an artist!” on his Wheaties that morning. There’s nothing inherently wrong with selling your art,...
3 tags
1 tag
Toasting Pop-Tarts correctly is an art form.
And, today, I am an artist.
