October 2011
2 tags
3 tags
September 2011
4 tags
2 tags
honorlanternyezzi replied to your post: Holy shit.
i’d have to taste it but my guess would be not enough sugar?
Or, perhaps, just too much of whatever isn’t sugar. I also royally effed up this week’s banana bread, and I think it’s because I’m going too heavy on the liquids. Psh, the story of my life. (Ew.)
separations replied to your post: Holy shit.
bitch why aren’t you...
3 tags
Holy shit.
These applesauce bars I baked are the mothereffin’ bomb dot org.
Icing’s all borked up, though. Why does my icing always turn into a glaze?
2 tags
3 tags
So, after doing some research...
I might have a stomach ulcer? Maybe? Nausea and mild stomach pain 2-3 hours after eating sounds pretty close. I’ll be keeping an eye out for other symptoms. Two problems, though:
1. Doctors and money. I have no insurance. (Thanks, Republicans!) The doctors at the cheapo community health center are kind of not great. (One might even be partially responsible for Mom’s death, but...
2 tags
2 tags
1 tag
Eating that macaroni & cheese was a very poor decision.
I want to die.
2 tags
elliemce replied to your post: I’m currently eating macaroni and cheese for the first time in many, many years.
why did you wait so long!?!?
Health-related reasons! And that was before I had my gallbladder removed, which made me unable to eat fatty foods, which is what macaroni & cheese is. But somebody brought us some this evening (oh, yeah, by the way: One of the benefits of having a...
1 tag
I'm currently eating macaroni and cheese for the...
This is basically sex with a lady. Happening right now. Inside my mouth.
1 tag
Guess who just had a crazy-huge blow-up with his...
So, Dad and I just yelled at each other. A lot. I used some words that begin with “F”. It got pretty bad. And then we semi-calmly talked about our feelings “and stuff,” and then we cried really hard and hugged each other. That’s, like, a Hallmark card, if Hallmark cards were realistic.
Mom’s not here. That is, in essence, why it happened.
We don’t have a...
1 tag
4 tags
In which I use Tumblr as my chief physician...
Okay, apparently, if I don’t eat often enough during the day, my stomach starts feeling kind of shaky, and I feel like I’m going to throw up (well, dry heave, I suppose).
What’s up with that? I’m guessing it has something to do with my not having a gallbladder anymore. Anyone know? Come on, Tumblr. Mom’s dead, so you’re my mother now. Hmm?
I had to break out the long underwear today.
It feels like a blanket is hugging my legs.
This is probably going to be the highlight of my day.
3 tags
Laptop Killer*
Have I told you guys that my computer is kind of broken?
My computer is kind of broken.
It got a nasty virus last week, and while I was able to eventually get it out of the system, at some point during the process it was seemingly irreparably damaged. The audio and video are kind of fucked. This is basically a text-and-images machine right now, and only during its better moments. That is not...
4 tags
App Killer
I just gave Microsoft and the gentlefolks behind Gears of War access to my Facebook profile and all the information contained therein. I did this in order to unlock a multiplayer character in Gears of War 3. Pretty lame and shameful, right? Kinda gross?
This character is voiced by Ice-T.
I would give Microsoft direct access to my bum, if it meant I got to play as Ice-T.
Ice-T is thuper-gangsta....
3 tags
3 tags
1 tag
So, this thing has been going around...
I like doing these, so eff y’all. GET TO KNOW ME, SON.
Name: Matthew.
Tumblr Name: Sharpless. For years, I’ve been trying to find an easy way to explain it. Let me try again: Weezer’s album Pinkerton. There’s an old-world map inside the CD case. One of the locations on it is named “Sharpless.” It’s a name taken from the opera Madama Butterfly, which...
5 tags
1 tag
separations replied to your post: Time for seppuku
are you kidding? you don’t like scarlett johansson? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
No, dummy. It was a look of excitement and awe. I am embarrassed by my enthusiasm.
I’ve always gotta hand-hold you.
2 tags
Time for seppuku
The look on my face when I saw those alleged Scarlett Johansson nude photos on my dashboard was probably one of the saddest things that has ever happened in the history of humankind. Once I can force the image of her alleged bum out of my mind, I’ll start having a good long think about my life and my choices.
EDIT: For the record, I think these leaks are disgusting. While I think it’s...
1 tag
Tuesday
Thoughts and activities related to Tuesday, the day that is today:
Woke up early. Perhaps, too early.
Baked and iced a surprise birthday cake for my father. Status: Big success.
Found out my anxiety medication has no refills. Status: Pending.
Called my therapist to leave a message. She picked up. I panicked, hung up.
Became irrationally emotional and wanted to cry several times. (Unrelated.)
...
1 tag
"I mean, I think socialism's okay..."
My dad said those words to me, the other day. Those words came out of his mouth. I had gone into “smile and nod” mode shortly before that, as the conversation planted itself firmly in the dangerous “politics” category. This brought “smile and nod” to a neck-breaking halt.
My dad is a 61-year-old, fairly traditional Englishman. He does not like Obama. He is not...
2 tags
6 tags
3 tags
“Talking to me about sports is like talking to a normal person about Star Trek.”
– Me. Just now. To myself. Winner.
6 tags
1 tag
nanoblossom replied to your photo: Guess who just baked some mothereffing peach…
Awww cutie pie! It looks like a noble effort!
…
This feels like when my mom would tell me I was cool.
1 tag
1 tag
I will never not side-eye
people who list American Psycho as one of their favorite movies/books.
1 tag
America's Funniest Memorial Service Mishaps
Apparently, even while at a memorial service for my own mother, I still can’t escape my predisposition to making an ass of myself in front of members of the opposite sex.
The service was reasonably well attended, and there were a few friends there that I hadn’t seen in a while. One of them — let’s call her Kate — I’d known since I was three or four years old....
1 tag
Chapter closed
Mom’s memorial service was on Friday. Finally.
It was simple. Tasteful. Nothing fancy. (I was going to say, “Kind of like Mom,” but then I realized “simple” probably wouldn’t come across as appropriate, to most people.) I spoke at it. I wouldn’t call it a eulogy, but I suppose it was along those lines. It went well.
I’m somewhat sorry to put an end...
3 tags
"Paul Salmon" & "Carp Garfunkel"
At 6AM this morning, I dragged myself out of bed in the dark, stumbled all the way to the other end of my bedroom, dug a notepad out of a drawer, stumbled over to my other drawers, dug out a pen, stumbled back to my bed, and wrote down the above two names.
Does this make me, like, a Writer or something?
Because, fuck.
2 tags
I think I know why I hate everything.
I think the LARGE QUANTITY of leftover quiche I had for lunch was bad. I think that’s why I just spent a half-hour lying nearly motionless on the floor of my bedroom, unsuccessfully trying to turn on the TV by whipping the power button with my headphone cord, periodically asking no one in particular why the world sucks and whining that “this is the WORST.”
Mom would be so proud.
asianjoe replied to your post: I fucking hate everything I see on Tumblr right now.
then post something better
I WILL SMASH YOUR FACE IN WITH AN IRON.
1 tag
I fucking hate everything I see on Tumblr right...
I should probably get away from the computer.
